Prayer

Lord,

What are you doing to me? I don't think I can handle it anymore. My chest feels so heavy and ready to explode anytime. Everything around me seems so fucked up. I feel so fucked up. Everything I see reminds me of my pain.

Was it ever your plan to do this to me? Am I really strong enough to take all of this and come out of it alive? I dunno. Right now I feel like giving up. I wanna cry and tell the world how I feel.

I have a lot of things to do. Acads, mostly. And yet, all of my attempts to do them would just be futile coz i can't find the heart to do them. I am disturbed. I am disturbed at every vision of things that remind me. I am bothered by every sight of everything.

I just wanna be honest. I just want to make me feel better. I just want to feel loved. I just want to be happy. I just you to know. I just want to talk and cry my heart out but I fear that no one would understand. I just want to go back to the days of simplicity and happiness.

Tonight, as i sleep, i wish i dream of those days. I wanna remember the good days coz we've all been messed up lately. Those days when nothing could bring us down.

I love you.

Amen