Preparation and Self-Doubt

These two are expected to have a negative correlation. (Shet. The first thing that came to mind is an Eco joke. If you don't get of that sentence's relation to Eco, you are not an Eco major. HAHAHA)

Anyhoo, what most people don't know is that I actually prepared for the 2nd semester. I spent weeks reading up my undergraduate books. Though, obviously not sufficient, it has helped me a lot to be more prepared for my MA. Right now, I am still not having a difficult time. I hope it remains this way forever. HAHA

I had two classes this week. Development and Econometrics. We had a shitload of things to read for Dev't: 200pages, more or less. I didn't finish it. I probably read 130 pages of it? And I felt guilty about it. However, my brain just didn't want to accept info anymore. HAHA However, it turned out to be more than sufficient. A lot of my classmates read 1 book. The undergraduate level basic information book. I felt good that I had to drive to read more than the usual. HAHAHA

However, during recitation, I was just too shy to recite. Sucks for me!! I knew the answers. Just didn't have the confidence to spill it coz I was doubting myself. Don't get me wrong, I was able to recite. But I feel like I could have delivered more. I need to get my confidence back. :|

It was a whole different case with Econometrics. It was a school holiday last Friday. I thought we wouldn't have class. I read nothing for it. Turns out, we weren't affected by the school holiday. Anyway, the session was devoted for review of some Statistics concepts and Econometric modelling.

Thank God I read up before the semester started. I was able to understand the lesson, for the most part. HAHA And one instance just proved how much I was doubting myself.

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My professor said that Regression models had to be linear in both parameters and variables. I remembered from my old Econometrics book that models only had to be linear in parameters. (Proof: Log-Linear models are not linear in variables!) Anyhoo, I wasn't sure but I checked my notes and it agreed with me. (Yes, when I read before the semester, I took down notes. Nerdmode. I hope it lasts!)

Anyway, I asked my friend if I was write or not. She said I was. I wanted to tell my professor but I couldn't. I asked her to but she couldn't either. HAHAHA We ended up just accepting whatever the professor said.

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I hate that I have so much self-doubt. I swear, people are not giving me enough credit and it is affecting my confidence. Just saying. HAHA

I need to be always prepared for school! I hope I can do it! I don't want to slack off. Although, unfortunately, I have feeling I will. Please slap me if I do.

Btw, I am starting to like my MA classmates. There are pretty nice people there. It feels like Survivor. The old vs. the young! HAHA Ofcourse, I go with the young. :))