Here's my schedule last week that'll overlap with the coming week. Huhuhuhu
Monday: GK Site visit the whole day for work.
Tuesday: Work, work, work. Class at night.
Wednesday: Work. Dinner with friends.
Thursday: Received the questions for International Econ Midterms exam at 2 in the morning. Woke up by 7. Work til 5pm. Class from 6-9pm. Start with the Intl Econ Midterms til 2am.
Friday: Woke up at 7am and skipped work to do the Exam. Finished by 5pm? Huhuhuhu. Class from 6pm-9pm. Only 5 people showed up for class. The rest were working on their Midterm exam. Got home by 9.30pm. Finished editing my answers by 10.30pm. Sent! It was due 2am of Saturday.
I also received another set of questions for Dev't Econ midterms Friday night.
Saturday: Woke up at 9am. HAHA It felt good to sleeeeep. Procastinated til 3pm. HAHAHAHA Started reviewing for Dev't Econ. It's now 6pm and I haven't started. It's due at 10 in the morning tomorrow. :O Must start soon but my brain's not working. Huhuhu
Tomorrow: Finish the exam in the morning. In the afternoon, i have to make a powerpoint presentation for Int'l Econ due Monday. Report on Tuesday.
If I survive til Tuesday, make another report for Dev't Econ over the next weekend.
Summer, please come fast!
To top all of that, my boss at work has been extra hard on me. I'm a research assistant and yet she keeps on making me "memorize" all the GK sites under our research by heart. Small details about all of those. What are the differences? How many houses? How many people?? Health clinic? Public school? Homeowners association? And muuuuuch more. ADDICT KA BA?!?!?! I bet di mo rin memorized, okay?! I was just supposed to encode data not study them! Wala nang capacity utak ko. HAHAHAHAHA
Rant over.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Work
I got a job last Tuesday. I was offered the job after the interview and I started working the following day. It was all too fast. I wasn't prepared so my whole week (acads-wise) has been fucked up!
Anyhoo, work is good, for now. I guess everyone who's new to a job always has this perspective that the work is good. I'm a research assistant for an American-educated Filipina taking her Doctorate in Psychology. I basically arrange her data and files. She's awesome.
Why she's awesome: she babies her research assistant! I love it. I get paid an decent amount. She brings us lunch everyday!! I am so happy about this. HAHA She's partially vegan and yet she brings for us all sorts of viands! Today, we had liempo, chicken afritada, and calamares. To top that, she even brought cake! HAHAHAHA Ako na matakaw. Ang babaw ko shet. We also have a full "panty" of chips, cookies, and soda.
I love the fact that she brings food for us coz that means I don't spend at all everyday!! HAHA I can save moooooooooney since my mom has decided not to give me allowance coz "i'm working already."
She's also really nice. Too nice for my liking though. HAHA Ummmm, not that I don't like nice people but I just feel weird around them. They're really engaged in their research work and she's really doing this to help the country out. It's really noble. I just don't fit in too well, i guess. But, it's been a good influence really. We pray before meals. Prayers that really come from the heart. And today, I went to mass with them. See? Good influence!
And I don't really have much work to do, for now. I constantly find myself on Twitter. I take millions of little breaks to go around campus. I've watched a couple of videos on youtube. I've went out of the office just to stay outside the office. Work isn't that much demanding for now so I really do have a lot of free time.
I'm enjoying work for now. I just have to find balance between work and studies! One need not suffer hopefully.
Anyhoo, work is good, for now. I guess everyone who's new to a job always has this perspective that the work is good. I'm a research assistant for an American-educated Filipina taking her Doctorate in Psychology. I basically arrange her data and files. She's awesome.
Why she's awesome: she babies her research assistant! I love it. I get paid an decent amount. She brings us lunch everyday!! I am so happy about this. HAHA She's partially vegan and yet she brings for us all sorts of viands! Today, we had liempo, chicken afritada, and calamares. To top that, she even brought cake! HAHAHAHA Ako na matakaw. Ang babaw ko shet. We also have a full "panty" of chips, cookies, and soda.
I love the fact that she brings food for us coz that means I don't spend at all everyday!! HAHA I can save moooooooooney since my mom has decided not to give me allowance coz "i'm working already."
She's also really nice. Too nice for my liking though. HAHA Ummmm, not that I don't like nice people but I just feel weird around them. They're really engaged in their research work and she's really doing this to help the country out. It's really noble. I just don't fit in too well, i guess. But, it's been a good influence really. We pray before meals. Prayers that really come from the heart. And today, I went to mass with them. See? Good influence!
And I don't really have much work to do, for now. I constantly find myself on Twitter. I take millions of little breaks to go around campus. I've watched a couple of videos on youtube. I've went out of the office just to stay outside the office. Work isn't that much demanding for now so I really do have a lot of free time.
I'm enjoying work for now. I just have to find balance between work and studies! One need not suffer hopefully.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I Live in a Teleserye
Yesterday, I got a job. Yay, i thought to myself. I can get some money for me. That was in the morning.Great, 2011 might be awesome after all. That was the end of it's awesomeness.
Later that night, my dad was confined in the hospital. He has been complaining about his eye a few days before New Year. He had them checked and stuff. They said he just needed glasses. We got the results a couple of days back but the doctor wasn't in the country or something and couldn't articulate the results. Yesterday, we found out that he has high everything. I dunno what specifically my mom meant by everything. Blood pressure? Blood sugar? I have no idea. All I know is that my dad is in the hospital.
And crap just keep on piling up.
My dad's in the hospital.
My mom and sister had a MAJOR fight.
Minor shit: I have so much to do so little time! And I have a headache. Works just seems to be a hassle all of sudden. And it's only Day 1.
Later that night, my dad was confined in the hospital. He has been complaining about his eye a few days before New Year. He had them checked and stuff. They said he just needed glasses. We got the results a couple of days back but the doctor wasn't in the country or something and couldn't articulate the results. Yesterday, we found out that he has high everything. I dunno what specifically my mom meant by everything. Blood pressure? Blood sugar? I have no idea. All I know is that my dad is in the hospital.
And crap just keep on piling up.
My dad's in the hospital.
My mom and sister had a MAJOR fight.
Minor shit: I have so much to do so little time! And I have a headache. Works just seems to be a hassle all of sudden. And it's only Day 1.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Meh
Today was gonna be a good day. I really, really, really thought it would be. Guess not. I found the urge to blog for privacy matters. HAHA
The plan today was simple go to school to submit Econometrics HW, try to read book, go to Xmas party, go to class, follow to Xmas after party. Good day. I really thought it was gonna be a good day. One thing I took for granted: my moods. HAHAHAHA
SHET. It's such a bad day to be off!
I was perfectly fine in the morning. I was having one of those rare good mornings. I was singing to my morning tunes! Rarity! Anyhoo, I dunno where my mood turned ugly. I just suddenly felt the world was slapping me with all my inadequacies! You have no idea.
I cut class coz I thought the Christmas party and after-party would be too much to miss. I knew the lesson for today. I can manage to skip class today. Now, I feel like I should have attended class! It's not even coz the party was bad. It was fun I just really wasn't in the mood! I can't even explain. It just really felt like the world was showing me what I should be but am not.
Shet. I don't want this crappyness to linger throughout the weekend!!!!
The plan today was simple go to school to submit Econometrics HW, try to read book, go to Xmas party, go to class, follow to Xmas after party. Good day. I really thought it was gonna be a good day. One thing I took for granted: my moods. HAHAHAHA
SHET. It's such a bad day to be off!
I was perfectly fine in the morning. I was having one of those rare good mornings. I was singing to my morning tunes! Rarity! Anyhoo, I dunno where my mood turned ugly. I just suddenly felt the world was slapping me with all my inadequacies! You have no idea.
I cut class coz I thought the Christmas party and after-party would be too much to miss. I knew the lesson for today. I can manage to skip class today. Now, I feel like I should have attended class! It's not even coz the party was bad. It was fun I just really wasn't in the mood! I can't even explain. It just really felt like the world was showing me what I should be but am not.
Shet. I don't want this crappyness to linger throughout the weekend!!!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Preparation and Self-Doubt
These two are expected to have a negative correlation. (Shet. The first thing that came to mind is an Eco joke. If you don't get of that sentence's relation to Eco, you are not an Eco major. HAHAHA)
Anyhoo, what most people don't know is that I actually prepared for the 2nd semester. I spent weeks reading up my undergraduate books. Though, obviously not sufficient, it has helped me a lot to be more prepared for my MA. Right now, I am still not having a difficult time. I hope it remains this way forever. HAHA
I had two classes this week. Development and Econometrics. We had a shitload of things to read for Dev't: 200pages, more or less. I didn't finish it. I probably read 130 pages of it? And I felt guilty about it. However, my brain just didn't want to accept info anymore. HAHA However, it turned out to be more than sufficient. A lot of my classmates read 1 book. The undergraduate level basic information book. I felt good that I had to drive to read more than the usual. HAHAHA
However, during recitation, I was just too shy to recite. Sucks for me!! I knew the answers. Just didn't have the confidence to spill it coz I was doubting myself. Don't get me wrong, I was able to recite. But I feel like I could have delivered more. I need to get my confidence back. :|
It was a whole different case with Econometrics. It was a school holiday last Friday. I thought we wouldn't have class. I read nothing for it. Turns out, we weren't affected by the school holiday. Anyway, the session was devoted for review of some Statistics concepts and Econometric modelling.
Thank God I read up before the semester started. I was able to understand the lesson, for the most part. HAHA And one instance just proved how much I was doubting myself.
**
My professor said that Regression models had to be linear in both parameters and variables. I remembered from my old Econometrics book that models only had to be linear in parameters. (Proof: Log-Linear models are not linear in variables!) Anyhoo, I wasn't sure but I checked my notes and it agreed with me. (Yes, when I read before the semester, I took down notes. Nerdmode. I hope it lasts!)
Anyway, I asked my friend if I was write or not. She said I was. I wanted to tell my professor but I couldn't. I asked her to but she couldn't either. HAHAHA We ended up just accepting whatever the professor said.
**
I hate that I have so much self-doubt. I swear, people are not giving me enough credit and it is affecting my confidence. Just saying. HAHA
I need to be always prepared for school! I hope I can do it! I don't want to slack off. Although, unfortunately, I have feeling I will. Please slap me if I do.
Btw, I am starting to like my MA classmates. There are pretty nice people there. It feels like Survivor. The old vs. the young! HAHA Ofcourse, I go with the young. :))
Anyhoo, what most people don't know is that I actually prepared for the 2nd semester. I spent weeks reading up my undergraduate books. Though, obviously not sufficient, it has helped me a lot to be more prepared for my MA. Right now, I am still not having a difficult time. I hope it remains this way forever. HAHA
I had two classes this week. Development and Econometrics. We had a shitload of things to read for Dev't: 200pages, more or less. I didn't finish it. I probably read 130 pages of it? And I felt guilty about it. However, my brain just didn't want to accept info anymore. HAHA However, it turned out to be more than sufficient. A lot of my classmates read 1 book. The undergraduate level basic information book. I felt good that I had to drive to read more than the usual. HAHAHA
However, during recitation, I was just too shy to recite. Sucks for me!! I knew the answers. Just didn't have the confidence to spill it coz I was doubting myself. Don't get me wrong, I was able to recite. But I feel like I could have delivered more. I need to get my confidence back. :|
It was a whole different case with Econometrics. It was a school holiday last Friday. I thought we wouldn't have class. I read nothing for it. Turns out, we weren't affected by the school holiday. Anyway, the session was devoted for review of some Statistics concepts and Econometric modelling.
Thank God I read up before the semester started. I was able to understand the lesson, for the most part. HAHA And one instance just proved how much I was doubting myself.
**
My professor said that Regression models had to be linear in both parameters and variables. I remembered from my old Econometrics book that models only had to be linear in parameters. (Proof: Log-Linear models are not linear in variables!) Anyhoo, I wasn't sure but I checked my notes and it agreed with me. (Yes, when I read before the semester, I took down notes. Nerdmode. I hope it lasts!)
Anyway, I asked my friend if I was write or not. She said I was. I wanted to tell my professor but I couldn't. I asked her to but she couldn't either. HAHAHA We ended up just accepting whatever the professor said.
**
I hate that I have so much self-doubt. I swear, people are not giving me enough credit and it is affecting my confidence. Just saying. HAHA
I need to be always prepared for school! I hope I can do it! I don't want to slack off. Although, unfortunately, I have feeling I will. Please slap me if I do.
Btw, I am starting to like my MA classmates. There are pretty nice people there. It feels like Survivor. The old vs. the young! HAHA Ofcourse, I go with the young. :))
Friday, November 12, 2010
Δ
Change.
I gotta warn you that this will be an extremely long post. HAHA
This is my first week as a student again. I'm taking an MA in Economics. I have only 3 classes for this semester: International Economics, Economics of Development, and Econometrics. I have no actual rant about my classes just yet. The professor gave a freecut in Int'l Economics. We only had intros in Dev't and Econometrics. Classes are a bit boring I'm trying my best to stay focused. And it's kind of working. Plus, the fact that I don't have much friends there is a good thing. I have no one to chat with! HAHA My classmates are a bit scary and intimidating. Ummmmm, most of 'em are old and snotty.
Anyway this post is really about change. It's amazing and really dishearting (for now, atleast) what a semester has done to change so much in so little time.
Yes, I admit that part of me expected things to be the same. I thought I was going back to my Ateneo. The Ateneo that I know was fun. I was always welcome. I was loved. I expected the same things from those that I am/was close to at least. I knew that other people would be colder towards me coz a few months have passed and I didn't really try my best to stay in contact.
What could possible change in so little time?? A lot, apparently.
First, I feel so unsure of myself. I keep on second-guessing myself. I just really, really, really, find my old classmates intimidating. I feel like a Freshman in a Senior's class! HAHAHAHA. I just have to fight them by being so fucking prepared for class. I've made 1 new friend in my classes the whole week. HAHAHA Pathetic, i know. Well, it seems like talking is not a very popular activity in evening classes. Everyone's so focused on the lesson. Hello. We've only had intros, remember? HAHA. I tried to be witty and funny (my usual undergrad self) when we were asked to introduce ourselves, I failed miserably. Nobody reacted. HAHAHA Kahiya! There are a couple of people in class though that I think I can be good friends with! Exciting opportunity.
Second, a lot of people hate me now. Fine, hate is such a strong word. HAHAHA Dislike? I just feel like they made their presence felt this week. These people are those whom I've had previous bad encounters. Nothing really new. It's just surprising how everybody seems to be on my case lately. People deleting me on Facebook and shit like that. Pathetic, i know, but, honestly, it is getting to me. I guess, when I was "on top", I wasn't really the nicest of people. HAHAHA And I was actually planning on being nicer to everyone this semester. Well, I guess they don't want my friendship.
Actually, I think, when I was gone last semester, people started talking behind my back and exposed the things I said and did when I was still an undgrad. HAHAHA I know. My bad.
Also, I have this clique in AEA. People perceive this clique to be the "council of past/current/next presidents" of sorts. It's a very gregarious and opinionated group. Recently, everyone has just been making us feel how poorly they perceive us. I know we have this tendency to be frank and almost brutal people. I recognize that fact. But I just really find it extremely unfair that people just look at us in such a bad light. We have our own lives. Yes, we do talk about people, but for the most part we talk about things more relevant to us than your lives.
Third, apparently, AEA's still dying, at a faster right this time. Nobody goes to the room anymore. The projects are better handled, definitely. However, people just don't bother to help out anymore. Nobody cares. The block cliques are back. People are so uninspired. People think that it has become work. I can't elaborate. My point is that people are leaving AEA to die. Morale is so low. Apathy and pessimism is high.
Fourth, I'm giving myself 4 more weeks to win the Economics freshmen over. I dunno if I can do it. As i said, i just feel so unsure of myself. Why me? I think I'm capable and I'm one of the few who care enough to help AEA. The Freshmen are the hope of AEA. If I succeed, we might get back all the people we lost. HAHA I'll go to school on Monday just to attend an AEA event. I just hope Freshmen go! If not, I'd waste my day.
Fifth, I miss my blockmates. Ateneo's not just the same without them. I feel like i'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Everyone around me is "nice, safe, and sweet." That's not me. That's not my block. My block is honest, fierce, and fun. HAHAHA I am truly a member of my block. However, I am no longer with them. I need to, I guess, lessen my opinions so I can fit in better in their pseudo-real world.
Sixth, my friends are weird. I almost feel unwelcome. I feel such an outsider lately. I tried talking to one of them about it. For some reason, the conversation grew more and more awkward. It grew into a conversation about AEA shiz and how it is affecting me the dynamics of our friendship. I'm not from any of the batches left in the Ateneo. I'm an outsider looking in. I always have to be the one giving the extra effort to be part of something. For some reason, me reaching out feels unappreciated. I made it apparent to my friend that I can tolerate AEA's state. ( I never really did well with it anyway! HAHAHA). I was just simply scared of losing my friends, especially those who are dear to me.
And this was the reply I got:
"The best thing to do is to accept that things have changed. Once you've accepted it, everything will be easier."
ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just wanted to be assured that amidst all the shit happening in AEA/Ateneo that I can count on you to be my blanket of normalcy!!
Sucks that I have to end this week on such a bad note. And it also sucks that emotional stress weighs more than academic stress.
I gotta warn you that this will be an extremely long post. HAHA
This is my first week as a student again. I'm taking an MA in Economics. I have only 3 classes for this semester: International Economics, Economics of Development, and Econometrics. I have no actual rant about my classes just yet. The professor gave a freecut in Int'l Economics. We only had intros in Dev't and Econometrics. Classes are a bit boring I'm trying my best to stay focused. And it's kind of working. Plus, the fact that I don't have much friends there is a good thing. I have no one to chat with! HAHA My classmates are a bit scary and intimidating. Ummmmm, most of 'em are old and snotty.
Anyway this post is really about change. It's amazing and really dishearting (for now, atleast) what a semester has done to change so much in so little time.
Yes, I admit that part of me expected things to be the same. I thought I was going back to my Ateneo. The Ateneo that I know was fun. I was always welcome. I was loved. I expected the same things from those that I am/was close to at least. I knew that other people would be colder towards me coz a few months have passed and I didn't really try my best to stay in contact.
What could possible change in so little time?? A lot, apparently.
First, I feel so unsure of myself. I keep on second-guessing myself. I just really, really, really, find my old classmates intimidating. I feel like a Freshman in a Senior's class! HAHAHAHA. I just have to fight them by being so fucking prepared for class. I've made 1 new friend in my classes the whole week. HAHAHA Pathetic, i know. Well, it seems like talking is not a very popular activity in evening classes. Everyone's so focused on the lesson. Hello. We've only had intros, remember? HAHA. I tried to be witty and funny (my usual undergrad self) when we were asked to introduce ourselves, I failed miserably. Nobody reacted. HAHAHA Kahiya! There are a couple of people in class though that I think I can be good friends with! Exciting opportunity.
Second, a lot of people hate me now. Fine, hate is such a strong word. HAHAHA Dislike? I just feel like they made their presence felt this week. These people are those whom I've had previous bad encounters. Nothing really new. It's just surprising how everybody seems to be on my case lately. People deleting me on Facebook and shit like that. Pathetic, i know, but, honestly, it is getting to me. I guess, when I was "on top", I wasn't really the nicest of people. HAHAHA And I was actually planning on being nicer to everyone this semester. Well, I guess they don't want my friendship.
Actually, I think, when I was gone last semester, people started talking behind my back and exposed the things I said and did when I was still an undgrad. HAHAHA I know. My bad.
Also, I have this clique in AEA. People perceive this clique to be the "council of past/current/next presidents" of sorts. It's a very gregarious and opinionated group. Recently, everyone has just been making us feel how poorly they perceive us. I know we have this tendency to be frank and almost brutal people. I recognize that fact. But I just really find it extremely unfair that people just look at us in such a bad light. We have our own lives. Yes, we do talk about people, but for the most part we talk about things more relevant to us than your lives.
Third, apparently, AEA's still dying, at a faster right this time. Nobody goes to the room anymore. The projects are better handled, definitely. However, people just don't bother to help out anymore. Nobody cares. The block cliques are back. People are so uninspired. People think that it has become work. I can't elaborate. My point is that people are leaving AEA to die. Morale is so low. Apathy and pessimism is high.
Fourth, I'm giving myself 4 more weeks to win the Economics freshmen over. I dunno if I can do it. As i said, i just feel so unsure of myself. Why me? I think I'm capable and I'm one of the few who care enough to help AEA. The Freshmen are the hope of AEA. If I succeed, we might get back all the people we lost. HAHA I'll go to school on Monday just to attend an AEA event. I just hope Freshmen go! If not, I'd waste my day.
Fifth, I miss my blockmates. Ateneo's not just the same without them. I feel like i'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Everyone around me is "nice, safe, and sweet." That's not me. That's not my block. My block is honest, fierce, and fun. HAHAHA I am truly a member of my block. However, I am no longer with them. I need to, I guess, lessen my opinions so I can fit in better in their pseudo-real world.
Sixth, my friends are weird. I almost feel unwelcome. I feel such an outsider lately. I tried talking to one of them about it. For some reason, the conversation grew more and more awkward. It grew into a conversation about AEA shiz and how it is affecting me the dynamics of our friendship. I'm not from any of the batches left in the Ateneo. I'm an outsider looking in. I always have to be the one giving the extra effort to be part of something. For some reason, me reaching out feels unappreciated. I made it apparent to my friend that I can tolerate AEA's state. ( I never really did well with it anyway! HAHAHA). I was just simply scared of losing my friends, especially those who are dear to me.
And this was the reply I got:
"The best thing to do is to accept that things have changed. Once you've accepted it, everything will be easier."
ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just wanted to be assured that amidst all the shit happening in AEA/Ateneo that I can count on you to be my blanket of normalcy!!
Sucks that I have to end this week on such a bad note. And it also sucks that emotional stress weighs more than academic stress.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Death
One of my batchmates in Ateneo Economics died today. I dunno much of the details. Car accident, I heard. We were just talking about him last night in a bday party. When I woke up today from a nap, it was all over Facebook. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. We weren't close. He was from the other block. We were just mere acquaintances. However, i felt my heart sink when I found out about the news.I was deeply affected.
I am scared. I really feel like death is slowly creeping up on me. Death has been becoming more and more of a reality. People "close" (by proximity?) to me are dying. Dad of classmates. Friends. Lolo. People close to me. When I was a kid, death did not feel like it was imminent. I knew it would happen but I sort of relegated it as a far future reality. Something I can disregard in the present.
However, recently, it is becoming an issue of the now. The death of my batchmate just made me realize how much time we waste on such trivial things. It's sad how much effort we put on dwelling on problems that are so inconsequential. Life does not end with one shitty day/problem. Life can end in an instant. And we should never take it for granted.
I am scared. I really feel like death is slowly creeping up on me. Death has been becoming more and more of a reality. People "close" (by proximity?) to me are dying. Dad of classmates. Friends. Lolo. People close to me. When I was a kid, death did not feel like it was imminent. I knew it would happen but I sort of relegated it as a far future reality. Something I can disregard in the present.
However, recently, it is becoming an issue of the now. The death of my batchmate just made me realize how much time we waste on such trivial things. It's sad how much effort we put on dwelling on problems that are so inconsequential. Life does not end with one shitty day/problem. Life can end in an instant. And we should never take it for granted.
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