Today was gonna be a good day. I really, really, really thought it would be. Guess not. I found the urge to blog for privacy matters. HAHA
The plan today was simple go to school to submit Econometrics HW, try to read book, go to Xmas party, go to class, follow to Xmas after party. Good day. I really thought it was gonna be a good day. One thing I took for granted: my moods. HAHAHAHA
SHET. It's such a bad day to be off!
I was perfectly fine in the morning. I was having one of those rare good mornings. I was singing to my morning tunes! Rarity! Anyhoo, I dunno where my mood turned ugly. I just suddenly felt the world was slapping me with all my inadequacies! You have no idea.
I cut class coz I thought the Christmas party and after-party would be too much to miss. I knew the lesson for today. I can manage to skip class today. Now, I feel like I should have attended class! It's not even coz the party was bad. It was fun I just really wasn't in the mood! I can't even explain. It just really felt like the world was showing me what I should be but am not.
Shet. I don't want this crappyness to linger throughout the weekend!!!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Preparation and Self-Doubt
These two are expected to have a negative correlation. (Shet. The first thing that came to mind is an Eco joke. If you don't get of that sentence's relation to Eco, you are not an Eco major. HAHAHA)
Anyhoo, what most people don't know is that I actually prepared for the 2nd semester. I spent weeks reading up my undergraduate books. Though, obviously not sufficient, it has helped me a lot to be more prepared for my MA. Right now, I am still not having a difficult time. I hope it remains this way forever. HAHA
I had two classes this week. Development and Econometrics. We had a shitload of things to read for Dev't: 200pages, more or less. I didn't finish it. I probably read 130 pages of it? And I felt guilty about it. However, my brain just didn't want to accept info anymore. HAHA However, it turned out to be more than sufficient. A lot of my classmates read 1 book. The undergraduate level basic information book. I felt good that I had to drive to read more than the usual. HAHAHA
However, during recitation, I was just too shy to recite. Sucks for me!! I knew the answers. Just didn't have the confidence to spill it coz I was doubting myself. Don't get me wrong, I was able to recite. But I feel like I could have delivered more. I need to get my confidence back. :|
It was a whole different case with Econometrics. It was a school holiday last Friday. I thought we wouldn't have class. I read nothing for it. Turns out, we weren't affected by the school holiday. Anyway, the session was devoted for review of some Statistics concepts and Econometric modelling.
Thank God I read up before the semester started. I was able to understand the lesson, for the most part. HAHA And one instance just proved how much I was doubting myself.
**
My professor said that Regression models had to be linear in both parameters and variables. I remembered from my old Econometrics book that models only had to be linear in parameters. (Proof: Log-Linear models are not linear in variables!) Anyhoo, I wasn't sure but I checked my notes and it agreed with me. (Yes, when I read before the semester, I took down notes. Nerdmode. I hope it lasts!)
Anyway, I asked my friend if I was write or not. She said I was. I wanted to tell my professor but I couldn't. I asked her to but she couldn't either. HAHAHA We ended up just accepting whatever the professor said.
**
I hate that I have so much self-doubt. I swear, people are not giving me enough credit and it is affecting my confidence. Just saying. HAHA
I need to be always prepared for school! I hope I can do it! I don't want to slack off. Although, unfortunately, I have feeling I will. Please slap me if I do.
Btw, I am starting to like my MA classmates. There are pretty nice people there. It feels like Survivor. The old vs. the young! HAHA Ofcourse, I go with the young. :))
Anyhoo, what most people don't know is that I actually prepared for the 2nd semester. I spent weeks reading up my undergraduate books. Though, obviously not sufficient, it has helped me a lot to be more prepared for my MA. Right now, I am still not having a difficult time. I hope it remains this way forever. HAHA
I had two classes this week. Development and Econometrics. We had a shitload of things to read for Dev't: 200pages, more or less. I didn't finish it. I probably read 130 pages of it? And I felt guilty about it. However, my brain just didn't want to accept info anymore. HAHA However, it turned out to be more than sufficient. A lot of my classmates read 1 book. The undergraduate level basic information book. I felt good that I had to drive to read more than the usual. HAHAHA
However, during recitation, I was just too shy to recite. Sucks for me!! I knew the answers. Just didn't have the confidence to spill it coz I was doubting myself. Don't get me wrong, I was able to recite. But I feel like I could have delivered more. I need to get my confidence back. :|
It was a whole different case with Econometrics. It was a school holiday last Friday. I thought we wouldn't have class. I read nothing for it. Turns out, we weren't affected by the school holiday. Anyway, the session was devoted for review of some Statistics concepts and Econometric modelling.
Thank God I read up before the semester started. I was able to understand the lesson, for the most part. HAHA And one instance just proved how much I was doubting myself.
**
My professor said that Regression models had to be linear in both parameters and variables. I remembered from my old Econometrics book that models only had to be linear in parameters. (Proof: Log-Linear models are not linear in variables!) Anyhoo, I wasn't sure but I checked my notes and it agreed with me. (Yes, when I read before the semester, I took down notes. Nerdmode. I hope it lasts!)
Anyway, I asked my friend if I was write or not. She said I was. I wanted to tell my professor but I couldn't. I asked her to but she couldn't either. HAHAHA We ended up just accepting whatever the professor said.
**
I hate that I have so much self-doubt. I swear, people are not giving me enough credit and it is affecting my confidence. Just saying. HAHA
I need to be always prepared for school! I hope I can do it! I don't want to slack off. Although, unfortunately, I have feeling I will. Please slap me if I do.
Btw, I am starting to like my MA classmates. There are pretty nice people there. It feels like Survivor. The old vs. the young! HAHA Ofcourse, I go with the young. :))
Friday, November 12, 2010
Δ
Change.
I gotta warn you that this will be an extremely long post. HAHA
This is my first week as a student again. I'm taking an MA in Economics. I have only 3 classes for this semester: International Economics, Economics of Development, and Econometrics. I have no actual rant about my classes just yet. The professor gave a freecut in Int'l Economics. We only had intros in Dev't and Econometrics. Classes are a bit boring I'm trying my best to stay focused. And it's kind of working. Plus, the fact that I don't have much friends there is a good thing. I have no one to chat with! HAHA My classmates are a bit scary and intimidating. Ummmmm, most of 'em are old and snotty.
Anyway this post is really about change. It's amazing and really dishearting (for now, atleast) what a semester has done to change so much in so little time.
Yes, I admit that part of me expected things to be the same. I thought I was going back to my Ateneo. The Ateneo that I know was fun. I was always welcome. I was loved. I expected the same things from those that I am/was close to at least. I knew that other people would be colder towards me coz a few months have passed and I didn't really try my best to stay in contact.
What could possible change in so little time?? A lot, apparently.
First, I feel so unsure of myself. I keep on second-guessing myself. I just really, really, really, find my old classmates intimidating. I feel like a Freshman in a Senior's class! HAHAHAHA. I just have to fight them by being so fucking prepared for class. I've made 1 new friend in my classes the whole week. HAHAHA Pathetic, i know. Well, it seems like talking is not a very popular activity in evening classes. Everyone's so focused on the lesson. Hello. We've only had intros, remember? HAHA. I tried to be witty and funny (my usual undergrad self) when we were asked to introduce ourselves, I failed miserably. Nobody reacted. HAHAHA Kahiya! There are a couple of people in class though that I think I can be good friends with! Exciting opportunity.
Second, a lot of people hate me now. Fine, hate is such a strong word. HAHAHA Dislike? I just feel like they made their presence felt this week. These people are those whom I've had previous bad encounters. Nothing really new. It's just surprising how everybody seems to be on my case lately. People deleting me on Facebook and shit like that. Pathetic, i know, but, honestly, it is getting to me. I guess, when I was "on top", I wasn't really the nicest of people. HAHAHA And I was actually planning on being nicer to everyone this semester. Well, I guess they don't want my friendship.
Actually, I think, when I was gone last semester, people started talking behind my back and exposed the things I said and did when I was still an undgrad. HAHAHA I know. My bad.
Also, I have this clique in AEA. People perceive this clique to be the "council of past/current/next presidents" of sorts. It's a very gregarious and opinionated group. Recently, everyone has just been making us feel how poorly they perceive us. I know we have this tendency to be frank and almost brutal people. I recognize that fact. But I just really find it extremely unfair that people just look at us in such a bad light. We have our own lives. Yes, we do talk about people, but for the most part we talk about things more relevant to us than your lives.
Third, apparently, AEA's still dying, at a faster right this time. Nobody goes to the room anymore. The projects are better handled, definitely. However, people just don't bother to help out anymore. Nobody cares. The block cliques are back. People are so uninspired. People think that it has become work. I can't elaborate. My point is that people are leaving AEA to die. Morale is so low. Apathy and pessimism is high.
Fourth, I'm giving myself 4 more weeks to win the Economics freshmen over. I dunno if I can do it. As i said, i just feel so unsure of myself. Why me? I think I'm capable and I'm one of the few who care enough to help AEA. The Freshmen are the hope of AEA. If I succeed, we might get back all the people we lost. HAHA I'll go to school on Monday just to attend an AEA event. I just hope Freshmen go! If not, I'd waste my day.
Fifth, I miss my blockmates. Ateneo's not just the same without them. I feel like i'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Everyone around me is "nice, safe, and sweet." That's not me. That's not my block. My block is honest, fierce, and fun. HAHAHA I am truly a member of my block. However, I am no longer with them. I need to, I guess, lessen my opinions so I can fit in better in their pseudo-real world.
Sixth, my friends are weird. I almost feel unwelcome. I feel such an outsider lately. I tried talking to one of them about it. For some reason, the conversation grew more and more awkward. It grew into a conversation about AEA shiz and how it is affecting me the dynamics of our friendship. I'm not from any of the batches left in the Ateneo. I'm an outsider looking in. I always have to be the one giving the extra effort to be part of something. For some reason, me reaching out feels unappreciated. I made it apparent to my friend that I can tolerate AEA's state. ( I never really did well with it anyway! HAHAHA). I was just simply scared of losing my friends, especially those who are dear to me.
And this was the reply I got:
"The best thing to do is to accept that things have changed. Once you've accepted it, everything will be easier."
ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just wanted to be assured that amidst all the shit happening in AEA/Ateneo that I can count on you to be my blanket of normalcy!!
Sucks that I have to end this week on such a bad note. And it also sucks that emotional stress weighs more than academic stress.
I gotta warn you that this will be an extremely long post. HAHA
This is my first week as a student again. I'm taking an MA in Economics. I have only 3 classes for this semester: International Economics, Economics of Development, and Econometrics. I have no actual rant about my classes just yet. The professor gave a freecut in Int'l Economics. We only had intros in Dev't and Econometrics. Classes are a bit boring I'm trying my best to stay focused. And it's kind of working. Plus, the fact that I don't have much friends there is a good thing. I have no one to chat with! HAHA My classmates are a bit scary and intimidating. Ummmmm, most of 'em are old and snotty.
Anyway this post is really about change. It's amazing and really dishearting (for now, atleast) what a semester has done to change so much in so little time.
Yes, I admit that part of me expected things to be the same. I thought I was going back to my Ateneo. The Ateneo that I know was fun. I was always welcome. I was loved. I expected the same things from those that I am/was close to at least. I knew that other people would be colder towards me coz a few months have passed and I didn't really try my best to stay in contact.
What could possible change in so little time?? A lot, apparently.
First, I feel so unsure of myself. I keep on second-guessing myself. I just really, really, really, find my old classmates intimidating. I feel like a Freshman in a Senior's class! HAHAHAHA. I just have to fight them by being so fucking prepared for class. I've made 1 new friend in my classes the whole week. HAHAHA Pathetic, i know. Well, it seems like talking is not a very popular activity in evening classes. Everyone's so focused on the lesson. Hello. We've only had intros, remember? HAHA. I tried to be witty and funny (my usual undergrad self) when we were asked to introduce ourselves, I failed miserably. Nobody reacted. HAHAHA Kahiya! There are a couple of people in class though that I think I can be good friends with! Exciting opportunity.
Second, a lot of people hate me now. Fine, hate is such a strong word. HAHAHA Dislike? I just feel like they made their presence felt this week. These people are those whom I've had previous bad encounters. Nothing really new. It's just surprising how everybody seems to be on my case lately. People deleting me on Facebook and shit like that. Pathetic, i know, but, honestly, it is getting to me. I guess, when I was "on top", I wasn't really the nicest of people. HAHAHA And I was actually planning on being nicer to everyone this semester. Well, I guess they don't want my friendship.
Actually, I think, when I was gone last semester, people started talking behind my back and exposed the things I said and did when I was still an undgrad. HAHAHA I know. My bad.
Also, I have this clique in AEA. People perceive this clique to be the "council of past/current/next presidents" of sorts. It's a very gregarious and opinionated group. Recently, everyone has just been making us feel how poorly they perceive us. I know we have this tendency to be frank and almost brutal people. I recognize that fact. But I just really find it extremely unfair that people just look at us in such a bad light. We have our own lives. Yes, we do talk about people, but for the most part we talk about things more relevant to us than your lives.
Third, apparently, AEA's still dying, at a faster right this time. Nobody goes to the room anymore. The projects are better handled, definitely. However, people just don't bother to help out anymore. Nobody cares. The block cliques are back. People are so uninspired. People think that it has become work. I can't elaborate. My point is that people are leaving AEA to die. Morale is so low. Apathy and pessimism is high.
Fourth, I'm giving myself 4 more weeks to win the Economics freshmen over. I dunno if I can do it. As i said, i just feel so unsure of myself. Why me? I think I'm capable and I'm one of the few who care enough to help AEA. The Freshmen are the hope of AEA. If I succeed, we might get back all the people we lost. HAHA I'll go to school on Monday just to attend an AEA event. I just hope Freshmen go! If not, I'd waste my day.
Fifth, I miss my blockmates. Ateneo's not just the same without them. I feel like i'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Everyone around me is "nice, safe, and sweet." That's not me. That's not my block. My block is honest, fierce, and fun. HAHAHA I am truly a member of my block. However, I am no longer with them. I need to, I guess, lessen my opinions so I can fit in better in their pseudo-real world.
Sixth, my friends are weird. I almost feel unwelcome. I feel such an outsider lately. I tried talking to one of them about it. For some reason, the conversation grew more and more awkward. It grew into a conversation about AEA shiz and how it is affecting me the dynamics of our friendship. I'm not from any of the batches left in the Ateneo. I'm an outsider looking in. I always have to be the one giving the extra effort to be part of something. For some reason, me reaching out feels unappreciated. I made it apparent to my friend that I can tolerate AEA's state. ( I never really did well with it anyway! HAHAHA). I was just simply scared of losing my friends, especially those who are dear to me.
And this was the reply I got:
"The best thing to do is to accept that things have changed. Once you've accepted it, everything will be easier."
ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just wanted to be assured that amidst all the shit happening in AEA/Ateneo that I can count on you to be my blanket of normalcy!!
Sucks that I have to end this week on such a bad note. And it also sucks that emotional stress weighs more than academic stress.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Death
One of my batchmates in Ateneo Economics died today. I dunno much of the details. Car accident, I heard. We were just talking about him last night in a bday party. When I woke up today from a nap, it was all over Facebook. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. We weren't close. He was from the other block. We were just mere acquaintances. However, i felt my heart sink when I found out about the news.I was deeply affected.
I am scared. I really feel like death is slowly creeping up on me. Death has been becoming more and more of a reality. People "close" (by proximity?) to me are dying. Dad of classmates. Friends. Lolo. People close to me. When I was a kid, death did not feel like it was imminent. I knew it would happen but I sort of relegated it as a far future reality. Something I can disregard in the present.
However, recently, it is becoming an issue of the now. The death of my batchmate just made me realize how much time we waste on such trivial things. It's sad how much effort we put on dwelling on problems that are so inconsequential. Life does not end with one shitty day/problem. Life can end in an instant. And we should never take it for granted.
I am scared. I really feel like death is slowly creeping up on me. Death has been becoming more and more of a reality. People "close" (by proximity?) to me are dying. Dad of classmates. Friends. Lolo. People close to me. When I was a kid, death did not feel like it was imminent. I knew it would happen but I sort of relegated it as a far future reality. Something I can disregard in the present.
However, recently, it is becoming an issue of the now. The death of my batchmate just made me realize how much time we waste on such trivial things. It's sad how much effort we put on dwelling on problems that are so inconsequential. Life does not end with one shitty day/problem. Life can end in an instant. And we should never take it for granted.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Random Shiz
I just woke up today and felt so evil(?). I realized how much different I am from whatever I was back in HS and the earlier parts of college. And it's kinda discomforting.
I feel like such an evil person. HAHA I haven't really been a good friend to people. I used to be pleasant (at least) towards others. I always wore that big smile. I was a friendly person. Recently, however, I dunno, I feel like something's changed. I'm more evil?
I think I've become the type to (a) prejudge people then (b) think if I wanna be their friend then (c) love 'em or shun 'em. Most of the time, I think (emphasis on think), I am a good judge of character. However, I now feel like I need to give everyone a chance.
Okay. My head is starting to have random thoughts like:
(a) I am kinda nice alone
(b) I up my evilness when I'm in my comfort zone/group
(c) I don't give people enough chances
(d) However, the current state, ironically, gives me more leeway and power (vague).
(e) I am, still, a controlling and scheming person. HAHA (Why did I just type that?)
(f) If you read this, ummmmmmm, let's stay friends, okay? HAHA
(g) It's really better to be my friend than my enemy.
(h) ^ That sounded so egoistic.
'Nuff said. Part of me wants to change.
I feel like such an evil person. HAHA I haven't really been a good friend to people. I used to be pleasant (at least) towards others. I always wore that big smile. I was a friendly person. Recently, however, I dunno, I feel like something's changed. I'm more evil?
I think I've become the type to (a) prejudge people then (b) think if I wanna be their friend then (c) love 'em or shun 'em. Most of the time, I think (emphasis on think), I am a good judge of character. However, I now feel like I need to give everyone a chance.
Okay. My head is starting to have random thoughts like:
(a) I am kinda nice alone
(b) I up my evilness when I'm in my comfort zone/group
(c) I don't give people enough chances
(d) However, the current state, ironically, gives me more leeway and power (vague).
(e) I am, still, a controlling and scheming person. HAHA (Why did I just type that?)
(f) If you read this, ummmmmmm, let's stay friends, okay? HAHA
(g) It's really better to be my friend than my enemy.
(h) ^ That sounded so egoistic.
'Nuff said. Part of me wants to change.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Gaaaaaaaah
I've always believed that I can always manage to get by. I can always do things that I want. I believed that I can.
Right now, gaaaah, I'm in the "everything-is-so-overwhelming" phase. Every little thing feels so major. Everything feels so heavy; so important. Every little decision seems so important. Examples: what time do I wake up, should I go out today, when will I do this, when will I do that, etc. Etc. I feel like I'm walking on really thin ice. I feel like one wrong move and everything will falter. Gaaaaah. I can't explain myself. I just feel lost. HAHA
Making a "wrong" decision now, would spiral to more "wrong" things happening. And that pressure (out of nowhere?) is mounting, for some reason. I don't want to make a wrong decision now that will cause more wrong things to happen.
Ugh. Life's so bleh lately. BLEH. I love this word. I just want a sense of normalcy and routine (This. Is. A. First.) back. HAHA
Right now, gaaaah, I'm in the "everything-is-so-overwhelming" phase. Every little thing feels so major. Everything feels so heavy; so important. Every little decision seems so important. Examples: what time do I wake up, should I go out today, when will I do this, when will I do that, etc. Etc. I feel like I'm walking on really thin ice. I feel like one wrong move and everything will falter. Gaaaaah. I can't explain myself. I just feel lost. HAHA
Making a "wrong" decision now, would spiral to more "wrong" things happening. And that pressure (out of nowhere?) is mounting, for some reason. I don't want to make a wrong decision now that will cause more wrong things to happen.
Ugh. Life's so bleh lately. BLEH. I love this word. I just want a sense of normalcy and routine (This. Is. A. First.) back. HAHA
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Dilemmas
Shit. I haven't blogged in a loooooong while. HAHA
Since it's been difficult (and tiring!) to look for a job, I am finally thinking about giving in to what my mom wants: more school. I've been searching online the past few weeks about programs and schools. I am so confused. Finally, I can admit, I dunno what to fucking do with my life. Will I be 063574 again? Or another school would be better? What am I going to take up? MA in Economics? Law School? Culinary School? An MA in something else??
This all started when I told my mom I had an interview for a company. "Just go to school next semester. You've already wasted a semester." Yes, I agree. HAHA School is the most feasible and practical thing to do coz (a) it's difficult to find a decent job and (b)I won't get paid well anyway. I think my allowance to school would be slightly less than what I'd be earning a day.
I dread going to job applications/exams/interviews. So when my mom told me that, I just decided that I'll stop looking for a job. HAHA This week, I've ditched 4 comapanies. Part of me knows that this is probably a flash in the pan. And that just makes me more confused.
More mind boggling shit:
The only school that will readily accept me next semester would be the Economics Department of Ateneo. I've looked at the curriculum and it seems, ummm, manageable? However, the thought of going thru Statistics and Metrics again is scaring the shit out of me. Though, part of me thinks that this just might be the perfect time to redeem myself. HAHA BUT, what if I don't? What if I suck at it more?
Law school. This is what my mom wants. But hello, this would be by June 2011! I've always wanted to be a lawyer until Junior year (?) when I just got so lazy and decided that more school would be bleh. AND, the fact that all the pressure from family that I be a lawyer just sucks. The rebel in me does not want to go law school just coz. But, in reality, I still kinda want it, I think. But heck, I don't like my parents/uncle/aunts/lolos/lolas (UMMMMM, everyone) telling me to go to law school.
I hate the fact that everyone's forcing me to go to law school just coz I knew as a child that I wanted to be a lawyer. It's like everyone's been conditioned to condition me to go to law school. That just sucks and I dunno why. HAHA Rebel me.
Culinary school seems fun! However, it's costly and I just dunno if I really want it. And I was looking at the app form, I need to take written exams and pre-school courses. WTF. I didn't know it's serious like that.
And, yeah, i forgot to tell you that the Economics Department will take me in no matter what coz I'm an alumnus. No exams/ shit. So it's really easy to get in. I dunno about the staying there.
And other MA's in other departments just won't accept me readily. I have to take the qualifying test and I might have to take extra non-degree classes which is soooooo bleh. It seems like I'm stuck in Economics if I decide to pursue an MA.
BUT! There's an MBA in the Professional Schools which takes in fresh graduates. I just don't know if they accept students during the 2nd semester. I'll call them up tomorrow to ask.
See? I dunno what to do with my life. HAHA And did I mention it's 4am? And that I always think about shit like this every night before I sleep. Not healthy.
And, I know Imma regret blogging about it tomorrow coz I know, by tomorrow, I've probably changed my mind again. Eeeeeeep. So indecisive. So unsure. So lost. I hate it.
Since it's been difficult (and tiring!) to look for a job, I am finally thinking about giving in to what my mom wants: more school. I've been searching online the past few weeks about programs and schools. I am so confused. Finally, I can admit, I dunno what to fucking do with my life. Will I be 063574 again? Or another school would be better? What am I going to take up? MA in Economics? Law School? Culinary School? An MA in something else??
This all started when I told my mom I had an interview for a company. "Just go to school next semester. You've already wasted a semester." Yes, I agree. HAHA School is the most feasible and practical thing to do coz (a) it's difficult to find a decent job and (b)I won't get paid well anyway. I think my allowance to school would be slightly less than what I'd be earning a day.
I dread going to job applications/exams/interviews. So when my mom told me that, I just decided that I'll stop looking for a job. HAHA This week, I've ditched 4 comapanies. Part of me knows that this is probably a flash in the pan. And that just makes me more confused.
More mind boggling shit:
The only school that will readily accept me next semester would be the Economics Department of Ateneo. I've looked at the curriculum and it seems, ummm, manageable? However, the thought of going thru Statistics and Metrics again is scaring the shit out of me. Though, part of me thinks that this just might be the perfect time to redeem myself. HAHA BUT, what if I don't? What if I suck at it more?
Law school. This is what my mom wants. But hello, this would be by June 2011! I've always wanted to be a lawyer until Junior year (?) when I just got so lazy and decided that more school would be bleh. AND, the fact that all the pressure from family that I be a lawyer just sucks. The rebel in me does not want to go law school just coz. But, in reality, I still kinda want it, I think. But heck, I don't like my parents/uncle/aunts/lolos/lolas (UMMMMM, everyone) telling me to go to law school.
I hate the fact that everyone's forcing me to go to law school just coz I knew as a child that I wanted to be a lawyer. It's like everyone's been conditioned to condition me to go to law school. That just sucks and I dunno why. HAHA Rebel me.
Culinary school seems fun! However, it's costly and I just dunno if I really want it. And I was looking at the app form, I need to take written exams and pre-school courses. WTF. I didn't know it's serious like that.
And, yeah, i forgot to tell you that the Economics Department will take me in no matter what coz I'm an alumnus. No exams/ shit. So it's really easy to get in. I dunno about the staying there.
And other MA's in other departments just won't accept me readily. I have to take the qualifying test and I might have to take extra non-degree classes which is soooooo bleh. It seems like I'm stuck in Economics if I decide to pursue an MA.
BUT! There's an MBA in the Professional Schools which takes in fresh graduates. I just don't know if they accept students during the 2nd semester. I'll call them up tomorrow to ask.
See? I dunno what to do with my life. HAHA And did I mention it's 4am? And that I always think about shit like this every night before I sleep. Not healthy.
And, I know Imma regret blogging about it tomorrow coz I know, by tomorrow, I've probably changed my mind again. Eeeeeeep. So indecisive. So unsure. So lost. I hate it.
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