Monday, June 28, 2010

Future Love

Dear Future Love,

Right now, my mind's a mess. My heart's in chaos and is very much lost. However, one thing keeps me going: the thought of you.

Thinking about you excites me. I may not know you yet (or I may not know yet that you are the one) but you keep me inspired to be better. I wanna be a better person so that I may deserve you. I wanna be better so that I can be with you. I wanna be better so that I can make you happy.

I am excited to fall in love with you. I am excited to meet you. I can imagine how I'd be so oblivious of the fact that you are my one. I am excited to be inspired by you. I am excited to be finally be able to be with the person I love the most. I am excited to build my family with you.

I am scared though. What if I don't meet you? What if I don't find the guts to own up the what i'll feel? What if? What if? I am full of those. However, I do hope that when I see you and when I realize that I love you, I can go up to you and say exactly what I feel because it's just too much to contain.

I wonder where you are know. What are you doing? Are you thinking about the future as well? Have I met you yet? Were you just right next to me? Where did you study? When will we meet? Will it be love at first sight? When will I know? Where are you from? Who are you?

I can't wait for the day that I make you read this letter that I made especially for you. When that day comes, I know then that I am ready to settle down.

Even though I don't know who you are, I love you already. I've waited for you my whole life. I know you're worth the wait.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I call this the new-rich syndrome. HAHA

My mom is a diva (especially to those below her.) We almost always argue about this. I hate it when she acts such a diva towards waiters/ maids/ drivers. I hate it most especially when these people are really nice and accomodating. I only act like a hustler (coz Beyonce says that nah-nah-nah diva is a female version of a hustler HAHAHA) when these people are rude.

Last Tuesday, my mom was sort of a diva when we were getting pizza at Eastwood.

"Hoy!" she called Manager.

"Mom! That's the manager!!!", I told her.

"Hayaan mo nga siya.", my mom replied.


"May condiments ba yan? Asan na yung condiments?!", demanded my diva mom.


I can't explain it well. I just hate it when people are snotty to people they know are below them.

Anyhoo, today I met a diva bigger than my mom. WATTA BITCH. My family was out for deenah when i met this diva. The instance I saw her face, I knew she was a diva. She was kinda pretty but she gave such a bitchy look.

"You told me 15 mins. It's been 15mins. Where's my food?!" Acceptable still.

Her food arrived. "Why are you so slow?! This is such a bad place." Getting a little irritating.

"Can you reply the plastic bag? Look at it! It's so oily!"

"Why did you take so long?! I'm never gonna it here again!"

I HATE DIVAS. I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up!!

Friday, June 25, 2010


Just got a call from an Agency. MYM Agency or something. I dunno where they got my contact details. Or it might have been a prank! HAAHA

"Hi. This is blah from MYM Agency. Blah blah blah. Are you still available for the position?"

"What position?"


"Sorry, what? Florist? I'm sorry. No. Bye."

On second thought, that might have been my ticket out of the Philippines. But, seriously, WTF? Florist? Ummmmmm, zero experience and WTF. Again, WTF? HAHA Oh, maybe my VIA experience counts. HAHAHAHA

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Block F 2010

There's nothing quite like you. HAHA

I went to school earlier to get my grad pics, return a borrowed book from a friend, and to tambay. The faces in school are freaking no longer familiar. HAHAHA Though, AEA people were still there to welcome me.

HOWEVER, if there's one thing I realized about going back to AEA is that it's just not the same without my blockmates. It was fun, yes, but it's just different. My block made AEA special. My block made AEA a happy place to be in. My block is the life of AEA. This is my biased opinion only! HAHA

My block ruled AEA. Yes, i still love those who remain in the Ateneo but my blockmates hold a special spot in my heart. They completed my Ateneo experience.

AEA's just not the same without my block.

(I watched the block vid I made that's why I miss my block! HAHA)

Thursday, June 17, 2010


It sucks to be met with lack of enthusiasm.

Just sayin'. HOHOHO

How uninspiring to try to hold things together. Magpapamiss nalang ako! Wait and see!

Anyhoo, excited for this weekend! YAY!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


HAHAHA. No more emo post for now!

I'm on a Martha Stewart (WTF?) mode today. My parents did not leave good food for me today. They left calamares swimming in its own ink (The usual filipino viand! I dunno what it's called) and fried fish. Booooo. I didn't want to eat either. Soooooo. I decided to cook my own food. HAHA Hassle!

1) Custard aka Flan

LECHE. Fail. I've been planning to cook it since I watched on TV how to cook it. It looked simple and i knew it tasted so damn good. It thought it was easy. BUT NO. The mixing part was easy. Mix egg yolks, condensed milk, milk, and vanilla. That's it. I did that pretty well. The hard part is the actually cooking. I dunno! There must have been a way to do it properly. The flan poofed up! :| It was not smooth and flat. I threw it away! Waste!

2. Thai Iced Tea
This one real easy to and yumm-o. It's just tea and condensed milk. I bet my version is a simplied version but it tastes divine! Yummy! HAHA

3. Calamares Rings
Looks easy but it took a LOT of effort to make. I didn't know that calamares have that much ink! I had to remove all that ink! I had to remove the squid's skin! I had to remove all the guts! I had to cut it into stips! I had to dredge it in flour, milk, and bread crumbs. And then fry it. Huzzle. And, I cheated. I used MSG. Ma-umami. HAHA

I fried it perfectly!! As in, goldren brown to perfection. HAHA It turned out fine! I say thanks to the MSG. HAHA

This is part of independent living. Cooking your own food. However, I had to wash all the dishes I used. I just felt like I had to.

5 plates
3 small bowls
2 small bowls
2 knives
3 spoons
2 forks
1 saucer
1 pot
1 frying pan.

I washed all of those. NOT. HAHA I only washed the plates and bowls. I got tired and left the rest for somebody else to wash. Hassle!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Everything Reminds Me of You


As in, everything.

Ever since, everything went downhill last week. I've been trying to keep myself busy! I just love you too much to forget you. Joooooke.


I cleaned my room up last Thursday. I threw away school files. (Yes, this is part of moving on. HAHA Though, I kept small items like name tags and tickets, which, I know, in a month or so would just end up as clutter!) I vacuumed my entire room. I swept my floor. I cleaned my washroom. I wiped all of my books clean of dust. GOD. My room is soooooo dusty. I've never inhaled so much dust my entire life. HAHA Looking back, I dunno why it took me the whole day. It doesn't really seem much. I don't remember much of Thursday. I must have slept early.

I cleaned my room up because: my cousins/ uncles/ aunts are coming over! The original plan was they were gonna sleep for a night at our house. Just one night. HAHA Fun fun fun. Well, for them. Me? I was mostly emo. Okaaaaay. Joke (I think.)! I'm basically tasked to "entertain" my kid cousins. I love kids.

Something's wrong with my head tonight. Again, I don't remember much about Friday. HAHA I just ate a lot. For real, we had dinner 3 times at 3 different places. Gluttons!! And, a lot of chismis. Ugh. I'm so part of this family. Chismis is love. I kid! I kid! HAHA

Saturday? More uncles/aunts/cousins arrive. And that's not necessarily a good thing. HAHA We went to another house for more food. And that's all I remember. OMG. Brain, what is wrong with you?

Today, I ate a lot again. That's expected. They've all gone home already! I thought they'd stay til Monday! Good thing they went home already! I'm getting tired already of taking care of their kids! Literally, I was zombie by 4pm. My mom even noticed it. She told me, "It's hard to take care of kids noh? Imagine we took care of 4 at the same time!" Point taken.

I've been busy the past days. And, yet, I constantly find myself quietly thinking about you. Everything reminds me of you. From the footbridges that we passed by (WEIRD). The malls we've been to. The people we've talked about. The food we've shared. The artists that we like. The songs that you hate. Banks. EDSA. Chinese people. Anime. Biscuits. K-Pop. Babies. Soda. Bags. Shampoo. Billboards. All of these and more reminded me of you. Practically everything.

I hope I get over you soon. I don't wanna flee anymore but there's no point in fighting for you. There won't ever be an us. One sight of you and my world goes tumbling down. And you don't even know.

I shouldn't have gone back to school. Why did you have to go to school too? Joke. I was the one who shouldn't have been there! HAHA I blame you, my friends, for making me go! HAHAHA I'm getting better though!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Last Sunday, a friend im-ed me if I knew where the Pasig Business Park is. No. I don't know where it is. I said I can check google maps to help them locate it.

And then, my friend told me that I should go with them. I was like "I don't know where it is." He insisted so that "you can see us!" He obviously knows that I miss them. I know he just missed me that's why he insisted (Conceited much HAHAHA). Hello? I don't know the place and I don't even drive. What can I possibly contribute to going there? HAHA But, still, I said yes.

Anyhoo, yesterday, using Google maps alone as my guide, we drove all the way to Pasig in search of that Business Park. We got lost bad. We reached Cainta for heaven's sake! HAHA I totally blame the streets; not us. hahaha. For more, the "Business Park" is not so business-y. It's located in a residential area! We finally found it soon enough. And we got fooled also by the people in that warehouse!

After getting the goods, we went back to school and had dinner (lunch for me!) and dessert along Katipunan. God. I missed Katipunan. But, in all honestly, i missed my friends more. I wanted to spend more time with them but we all had to go home. Actually, no, I didn't. But yeah. I really wished we spent more time together. They insisted however that I go to an AEA activity the following day.

That night. It all sank it. I got sad all over again about missing friends. I texted him that "I shouldn't be doing this. Going back to school and all. Nalulungkot lang ako e."

I was scared. I was apprehensive to spend more time with them. I knew I'd want more! I knew that I'd just be depressed all over again if I go. I knew that I'd just feel sad.

BUT NO, today, I went to the AEA activity and spent the whole time with them again.

And, as expected, I feel sad.

My question really is: When's the next time? I am, honestly, hoping soon but I'm expecting it wouldn't happen anytime soon.

When will I see you again?

When can I hug you again?

I just gave out lots of warm and long hugs because I knew I probably wouldn't see them in months or ever. Oh. The thought is scaring me. But, if I was able to do it the past 2 months, I can do it in the next months too!