Saturday, February 28, 2009

Academic Low

Today, was the such a low point for Academics. I had my LT2 for Econometrics and I did terrible. 30 minutes into the test, I get a headache. I rested for a while. It doesn't want to go away. I continued with the test. I wasn't able to answer around 25 points worth.

As soon as i got out of the room, people were discussing the answer. Harboring my headache, I wasn't as pleasant. Worse, when I heard that my answers were sort of different than theirs, it made my head throb more. I left them. I roamed around school. I just decided to go home.

I hate it. I've been doing relatively well this semester until this. I've never felt so sad over acads this semester. I was a high C+ in Metrics and the exemption was only a B. Now, i'll see Domdom for sure in the finals. Fart!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Daddy

I told my friends a while ago how moody I was this morning. Here's the story: I was eating breakfast this morning (i usally don't) when my dad jokingly noticed me. "Wow. Ang dami ng kinakain mo!", he said. "Fine. Itatapon ko nalang.", i responded. He didn't respond; not even a hint of anger whatsoever.

Tonight, I feel such an ass for treating him such. I tried my best to be nice and fun when he picked me up from school. I responded to all of his question. I laughed at his jokes.

I feel so sorry that I've often treated him so coldly for the longest time, especially that it's his birthday tomorrow. It's too complex to explain why we've grown so apart no matter how hard he tries to pull it together. Oh well. That's life.

Happy birthday, dad!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Acceptance

It's about time that I give up on my dream. It's the logical thing to do.

It's difficult to give up. I know that by tomorrow, probably, I would change my mind and still keep on hoping that my dream would materialize. Petulant me.

But, during class, when I finally "decided" that it's better for me to just be satisfied with what we have, i felt damn good.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Taking Chances

(It's 12:15am and I should be asleep right now but I can't sleep.)

I'm just really happy. I remember clearly that one of the things that prompted me to create this blog is that i wanted my friends to know more about me and vice versa. I believe that there's a certain point when friendship stagnates for a while and that period is critical. That's when you decide to further it or let it stay there and stagnate.

The past few days or weeks, I've been really open. I've never been this open about me. Honestly, I think, I've never been this comfortable to people; comfortable enough to talk about me and... what have me. I've never been this honest about me. I've never been this free.

I've learned to take chances thanks to you.

I know. I know. You think I'm not making sense.

Basta. This is a I'm-so-thankful post. Thank you for making me feel so comfortable.

Thank God for you (all). And, I won't ever let us stagnate.

Hell Week??

I thought it would be but, honestly, I don't feel the "hell", as of now.

For this week, here's what I need to do:
1 Metrics HW due on Wednesday (almost done)
1 20-page Dev't Eco paper due tomorrow (done with my part)
1 20-page DS paper due ewan (so not done)
1 20-page IPE paper due on Saturday (almost done with my part)
1 DS Report for Wednesday (almost done)
1 Dev't Eco Report for tomorrow (done with my part)
1 Metrics LT (Kaboom. Batman will help me. haha)
SRD due on Thursday (this one's gonna be crazy)
Turn-over AEA funds (this one will be crazy too hahaha)
1 JEEP reflection paper (done).
And, i have a feeling i am forgeting some stuff.

It looks like a lot but I am so not stressed. Weird but I like it.
See? I even have the time to blog when all the status messages of my blockmates on YM are "stress"-related. haha

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Results

I made the decision.
We all made the decision.

I am nervous with how people will accept our decision.
I stand firm by our decision.

Deal with it.
It still is for the best.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Lazy Day

Today, my blockmate noticed something, "What happened to you? You've become so lazy!"

"I have lots to do. And I know if I started to do everything so well (just like Fil14), I would end up so tired.", I responded.

"Yeah. We were so good during Fil14."

I know. haha

Anyhoo, yes, I've been really lazy especially today. Must be the weather.

I arrived in school by 6:50am for my 7.30am class. By 7:10am, the Professor texts the beadle that she'll give a free cut. Great! My next class is 4:30pm. Thanks. :| My blockmates and I decided to just eat at McDo til 11am.

But no, I should have been in Eastwood for my job interview for IBM by 10am. I was just too lazy to go. haha. I'm just hoping a better company will call me up again.

By 11am, I went back to school to start my part of the PPT presentation for our IPE report due by 3pm. Cramming much. We did "good", according to the proof. Yipee. That's 25% of our final mark.

By 4pm, started reading for Philo coz we'd have a quiz. Failed the quiz.

Argh. I'm so lazy, yet, I am blogging. haha

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Obvious

It's so obvious. And it's killing me.
Self, know your limits.

"I have to go. I can't chase after my dreams anymore.", I read in Playing for Pizza. After a few seconds, "good things come to those who wait", David Archuleta told me. I am torn. I dunno if still should pursue my dream or wait and wait and wait. I know this dream is so difficult to achieve, almost impossible.

Today, I think, the answer was clear (or was i just over interpreting stuff again?)
I think it's time to stop, but I really don't want to.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Econometrics

Econometrics is the best subject in the entire world. Grabe. For a HW (a mere HW!), I:
* spent 8 hours of my not-so-productive life just to do it.
* used 3 computer programs to do the analysis properly.
* was sooooooo sabaw yesterday.
* am so irritated with the "leech."
* spent 44 pesos for printing.
* was bad vibes the whole day.
* am really drained mentally.
* wanted to give up and just cry.
* realized how important my block is to my Eco life.
* had the a good 8 hours of FUN with my block. (Though, Part II of the HW might be a different case. haha I'm not sure if I can handle 8 hours more. hahaha)

AFTER ALL that, I still wasn't able to get the correct answer. Wow. I love Econometrics.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pleasure Reading

I don't like reading novels and all those stuff. But lately, out of boredom and stuff to do, I've been itching to read. Weird much. I'm not really fond of reading.

Last week, i was discussing with a group of friends our favorite novels. I tried to borrow all of their favorite novels. I thought they didn't take me seriously. haha. Today, one of them brought a book. It's entitled "Playing for Pizza." I started reading it already. Good one. It's interesting, as of now.

I hope to enjoy reading this one. If this turns out to be really good, I might gain interest in reading novels and, finally, be cultured. hahaha

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Control

I really, really, really want to do something. But that something is bad. The urge to do it is killing me. I won't do it. I promise myself. I need to control myself. If I do it, it will ruin lives. hahaha


God, help me. *Nothing serious. hahaha

Friday, February 6, 2009

Jealous

My blockmates are getting "jealous." They are jokingly questioning my "loyalty" to them. I'm spending too less time with them, according to them. Wushoooo.

This is what happened yesterday.

My blockmate texted me, "Magcucut ka ba ng Philo? Hee Hee"

"NO! (though I want to.)", i replied.

"CUT NA!"

"I can't. 5th cut ko na (of 6 max). Don't tempt me. Pls.."

"RockBand us!"

"I can't talaga."

"Che ka! Kung blockmates hindi pwede pero kung iba go-go ka. Che!"

This was a joke but it had substance/ meaning. Today, I talked to some of my blockmates, including her, about this. They all said that I was spending less time with them and too much with others. Wushooo. Don't worry blockmates, I still love you.

Happy

I won the elections. I'm the next president of AEA. I'm excited, yes. BUT I am just not as happy as I should be. Everyone was cheering when the voting of the ballots was done. Yipee. But, somehow, it still has yet to sink into me. I dunno why. This is what I wanted. Or is it? I just wanted to be with the people I love in AEA so I decided to run for president. I know it sounds so shallow; contrived even. I was never after the position; I was after the company and the experience.

I should be happy. Next year's gonna be interesting and exciting.

I feel so ungrateful, though, I am. Maybe, I'm just tired.