Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Right after the GA yesterday, I started to feel different. I couldn't but feel the way I felt. It was just my shallowness attacking. If I chose not to do that, I could have spared me from the frustration. I shall not elaborate. That was 6pm. I went to class with a heavy heart. I don't remember a single thing that my professor blabbered about for 3 hours. My mind was somewhere else.

I stayed in school until 9:40pm just so when i get home I'd be so tired that I'd go straight to bed. I needed time to think and reflect. Just as expected, I got home and went straight to bed. I wanted to sleep my thoughts over so I won't think about them anymore but I can't escape from them. I woke up 12mn with a sigh. I didn't want to wake up because I knew I'd just mess up with my mind. And so i did, mess with my mind. I slept at around 4am.

4 hours of thinking about the present and how afraid I am of the future.
4 hours of frustration.
4 hours of sighs and arghs.
4 hours of causing myself agony.
4 hours of thinking about it.

Woke up 6am today. Still, my thoughts are bothering me. I want to escape them but how do i actually escape myself? It is I that is causing me agony. It is I that I should conquer.

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