Shoulder Pains

My shoulder bone/joint popped out. I dislocated my right arm. Booooooo. Clumsy me. It was slightly painful. This is the 2nd time this has happened.

I had to push it back on to align it. Pain. Pain. Pain. Ouch.

Though, it's feeling better now.

Commuting

I feel such an accomplished commuter already. HAHA I’m no longer scared to commute. I now have the balls to take routes not so familiar to me. I now ride jeepneys and MRT’s/LRT’s on a regular basis without any apprehension.

I love the MRT. I still hate the fact that is sooooooooooo overcrowded. However, it makes commuting so much faster and easier. I remember the first time I rode one last year during rush hour. I was astounded by the number of people trying to get in. I lined up behind all those people assuming that’d we’d all get in. But no, 2 trains passed by and I was able to ride. I had to assert myself.

Now, I use my size as an advantage. I am such a bully in the MRT! HAHA However, PLEASE, people who ride the MRT, ummmmmmmmmm, take a bath often and don’t fart inside the train. And, I need to learn to focus. HAHA I’ve lost 2 MRT cards already onboard trying to stalk people. HAHAHAHA

On the other hand, I seriously don’t like riding jeepneys but they’re cheap as hell. The pollution, heat, and smell are so overwhelming. But, I just have to ride them to save up on money. Example: Riding a cab to the MRT station from our house in Makati would cost around 50php. Riding the jeep would cost 7php!

BUT, commuting is so tiring. It involves a lot of waiting and a lot of people. Also, germs, germs, germs are everywhere! Plus, haggardness is always a possibility. HAHA Therefore, always be ready for these. I’ve learned to bring alcohol every time I commute. Also, don’t forget to look mean and tough to ward off jejemons. HAHA

Water

I don't get why there's a water crisis in Manila! It's been raining pretty regularly lately. I heard in the news that the crisis is caused by too much water leakages thanks to broken water pipes or something. I've had enough of this water crisis! I'm going nuts already.

Wait, we do have water, btw. However, water pressure is too weak that it doesn't go up. It does not reach my room. My washroom does not have water. The faucets in it have not released a single drop since the storm. So that's roughly 6 days of being waterless. I have to fetch water all the way down from the basement. Ummm, 2 flights of stairs. Not easy at all. My arms hurt. SO, i use the water very, very, very wisely. HAHAHA

God, please let there be water. I appreciate it more now. I need it. I am tired of fetching for water. HAHA And, please help Maynilad/ MWSS fix their pipes. Thanks.

Patterns

Being away from friends comes with a lot of difficulties. One of these: knowing when they're mad at you! Rarely do people tell you that they're mad/irritated/pissed at you. You won't know. You need to be extra-sensitive to figure it out. I rely on "patterns" to know when something is wrong. I know my friends so well that I know what to expect from them given certain circumstances. I don't wanna give too much details coz I don't want you to know if i'm checking our relationship. HAHA

The past week, I was involved in 2 misunderstanding. Amazingly, I detected them both easily. It's so difficult to talk to people when they're mad at you and you don't see him/her frequently. It's either you wait for a long time to meet the person and talk it through or you apologize through the wire.

I apologized both instances as soon as I confirmed it myself that something was wrong. The first one snubbed my apology and is giving me the cold treatment. I apologized twice already and I don't really mind anymore. It'll fix itself soon enough. The second one went well.

Right now, something is wrong with one my friend's pattern. I am not sure. Maybe i'm just interpreting it too much this time around. But hello, what did I do to you? Let me assume that you're just busy. Too busy to talk to me. Ouch.

Chasing a Dream

HAHAHAHA. What a stupid title.

After all the drama of job "waiting", i'm back to job hunting. I started sending out my resume again last week and I expect this week to be a week of interviews again. True enough, I got 3 calls already: IBM, Toyota, and the Canadian Embassy.

IBM was a lost call. They called me up on my mobile but I couldn't hear what she was telling me. She called me up on the landline. I still couldn't hear her. "Ma'am, I think something's wrong with your phone." She told me that she'd just email me the details of the interview. She never did!

Yesterday morning, Toyota called. I had an interview at 8.30am on Thursday. They called up so early. That phone call woke me up. I was certainly drowsy when they were talking to me. I even wrote the details on my copy of the Last Lecture. Poor book. I slept again after the call.

When I woke up I checked my mail. I had an email from the Canadian Embassy. I have an exam with them on Thrusday, 8.30am as well. Ummmmmmm, same time. And i dunno what to do. I'm too shy to call Toyota to resched but I also wanna pursue Toyota.

The Canadian Embassy represents a dream. (Whut?!) While Toyota represents practicality. (Whut?) HAHAHAHA I mean, should I pursue the Canadian Embassy when I know that the chances of me getting a job there is very slim. I will lose my chance at Toyota if I go to the Embassy but it seems more plausible that I get a job with Toyota.

But no, I will go to the Embassy still. HAHAHAHA

I'll try to call up Toyota now. That is, if I find the courage to. HAHA

God Has A Plan

This post will not sound like I wrote this. HAHA

If I knew 4 months ago that I'd still be a bum by now, I would have entered a call center by then. 4 months ago I had a clear dreams: (a) work abroad and get the hell out of here or (b) find a job in Makati and get my own condo. Now, neither A nor B has happened. Sometimes, yes, I get frustrated, a LOT.

I wouldn't believe it if somebody told me that I wouldn't find a job in 4 months. 4 months ago, I wanted to look for work as an escape. I wanted that, as soon as I finish college, I'd start working already so that I can escape from what I expected to be a bitter transition to being nothing. Nothing. From something to literally nothing. I knew it would be a slow and painful transition. And no, this does not involve being org president or shit. This was about friendship(s).

I knew that, sooner or later, people would forget. People would not care. I would just matter less and less and less. Yes, partly, this is happening and, yes, it pains me that I see it unravel. I feel like my niche is slowly disappearing but that's just how the ball rolls.

However, things became better than I expected how things would happen. I expected much much worse. Those that mattered actually stayed. Though I sometimes feel that I am being replaced (well, coz i'm just crazy like that HAHA), for the most part, I know that I have a special place in their hearts. And that is very comforting. I need not escape. I am welcome.

I stopped looking for work 2 months ago. I thought I had HP in the bag coz they told me so. Now, I get zero replies from that bitch of an HR assistant. I gave up on HP so I started looking for work again last Friday.

Sometimes I am rattled by the reality of my situation. It just feels so fucking weird for Ateneans to have difficulty in looking for work but, that is reality. And yet, I am actually at ease with that reality at the same time. For what God has not given me yet (a job), He has given me more of what I really want: time (for family and for friends).

I will get work sooner or later. That's for sure. However, I never know how much time I have left with family and friends. I do not know how much longer I will matter in their lives.

Though, at times, I get sad over not being where I want to be (aka school, more specifically, AEA room HAHAHA), I just know that things will fall into place soon. And that all these times I spent being sad over that would just merely look stupid.

Just trying to look at the better side of things.