"Indulge yourself. Masasawa ka rin.", a friend told me. I've been bothered recently by what I thought has died already or what I've been trying to deny myself.
Honestly, I've been indulging myself for 2 to 3 months already. And I am nowhere near the point of pagkasawa. Nowhere near that point. I am, actually, craving for more. I expect more. I want more. I need more.
In the few days/ weeks that I have distanced myself, I've been able to drive myself to my lowest in 3 months. I just couldn't and can't take it anymore. I'm driving myself crazy again.
As much as everyone thought I wanted it to happen, I, honestly, didn't want it to happen because I knew that after that will be this. Maybe I expected more. Maybe everything failed my expectations. Maybe I just want to be treated better. Maybe. Maybe, for once, I wanted to not be the only one indulging myself. But no.
And no one's here to share my misery.