Thursday, July 9, 2009

D-Day: Depression Day

By last night, I knew today would potentially be a sad day. I couldn't study last night because my brain was floating away and I was already sleepy. I planned to wake up 4am to study for my 4 quizzes today. Unfortunately, I was only subconscious when I turned off the alarm and fell back to sleep.

Major fail. I have 4 quizzes and I am so unprepared. Luckily, the Theo quiz was canceled and the 2 Eco quizzes were good. Philo was sorta ok. I got a 7 of 10.

Anyhoo, I don't care about acads today. It's really my emotions that's driving me crazy today.

Something that usually happens didn't and it just strengthened my worries from yesterday. And when you expect things to happen and they don't, you start to worry. And that's what I did during my classes. I don't know if we're okay or not. Good thing acads kept me busy and I didn't linger with the idea much.

When classes ended, that's when the "emoness" really kicked in. By 4pm, we were dismissed early and I wen't straight to AEA. I dunno. I just really didn't feel my usual self again. I greeted people but wasn't as happy as usual.


"Bakit ang tahimik mo?"


"What's wrong?"

Those were the questions that they threw at me. I tried to pretend that I was okay but I couldn't. I ended up sitting in the corner pretending to read an Economics book.

Most of them left by 4.30pm and I was left with a Freshman. More came eventually. BVness and silence filled the room. Everyone was "depressed." Misery really does love company.

Again, I post the same question as yesterday..

Why don't you just fucking tell me how you feel? Or would it be too shameful to admit it?

No more secret. Just be honest. And that'd mean everything to me.

I feel like I'm losing you. I don't want it to happen.

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