Friday, May 29, 2009


Yesterday, I had a meeting with my one of my VPs in AEA about our video shoot today. We agreed that i'd just bring a laptop and she'll send me the script. I brought the laptop and, unfortunately, she forgot to attach the file to the email. We had a meeting but had nothing to talk about. We just divided the work.

Evening came. I had a Fellowship Dinner in school and was home by 9pm. I checked ym and offered my assistance to her. I thought she was already in the finishing details of the script. But, she wasn't. She hasn't even started working on it because she just came home, too.

Anyhoo, we worked on the script until 12mn. We had all sorts of problems like the vidcam to be used to was no longer available, the props, etc. And because of someone's inefficiency, we didn't even have the proper venue to do this shoot.

I woke up 7am today. I badly wanted to stay in bed. I've not been sleeping well the whole week. By 7.30am, I was ready to go to school. I was just waiting for my mom to finish bathing. By, 8am, already stressed because I didn't want to be late for the shoot, I knocked on my mom's bathroom door. She wasn't riding with us all along! I waited 30mins for nothing. And my dad has been in the car since 7.30am. Nobody told me that my mom wasn't riding with us!

My dad blamed me. Me being me, I argued with him. And the argument really pissed me off.

I arrived late in school by around 15 mins. I never like being late especially when I am the one who called for the meeting. That's just rude. I don't want to waste other people's time.

On my way to MVP, i was planning on how to pretend to be fine and not pissed. I passed by OSA to check if somebody already got the key. A blockmate was there and gave me one of the saddest news for the year: there are only 50 incoming Eco majors, at most. 30 standard, and less than 20 honors. The department secretary told me last March that around 80 students have already confirmed! Now, this? How sad.

Also, we reserved the room til 4.30pm but Julie only gave us until 11.30am. Wow.

Then, I went upstairs to start the shoot. I tried my fucking best to not look stressed and all but I just couldn't. I saw a lot of people and just went straight ahead without greeting them. I'm not happy and I couldn't pretend to be.

A lot of people came late. Even the one of the "main actors" was late. We didn't start on time. We weren't prepared. This is one of my pet peeves as a "student leader." I really don't want to waste other people's time. I don't want to make them go to events that aren't worth their time. I don't want to force them to do stupid things. You make them go all the way to Ateneo at such an early time and then you'd come late and unprepared. I'm so ashamed of myself.

By 10.45am, the main actor came. We only had 45 mins left to shoot an entire scene and we didn't even have a complete script yet. OMG. Shit. We just improvised shit.

We finished shooting around 3.30pm. And I have not eaten the whole day.

Just imagine how foul my mood was the whole day.

I am tired. I am frustrated. I am ashamed. I don't feel well. I wanna say sorry to all those that I've maltreated today.

No comments: